THE PAIN OF LOVE

up until now, i do not fully understand the concept of love. surely it has brought me into different parts of a world i never knew they actually existed. because of this i not only what or why is it felt at the most unexpected moments, i ventured into the eye of the needle and experienced the most memorable.

yet love is not always that good. it also produced to me the pain lavishing within my veins when i willingly sacrificed almost everything and what remains is a dull, lonely soul. because of this, everything that fails is lost in a realm i never owned.

succeeding in this art is a rare and truly a gift. once rewarded one cherishes it to the point that an evil mist attempts to blind him for selfishness. out will errupt misunderstanding and nowhere will he find himself in the end.

the fear of rejection. the fear of being misunderstood. the fear of being looked down to. the fear of lust and pleasure. the fear of discrimination. the fear of outcasting.

the thoughts streaming over send shiver down my spine... i would shout out loud why the hell would a world want a balance? why does there have to be evil when good is always thought to overcome it? and why can't love conquer all if pain is the way?

i do not want to believe in it anymore. no power has ever convinced me to contrinue dreaming for it. that one day arriving seems eternity and i couldn't wait any longer. many times i've been tested and i tried to seek from it, i ended up playing the "it" and catch whatever's hiding from me. the truth does not set one free, but makes one realize what has to be done.

love is a crime. and it's killing me. it's torturing me with some i have thought would bring me out of the bloody swamp and dry me off into the sunlight. the right persons that i have believed so left. i was alone all along.

but i'm hoping... because i need it. yet i do not even know what it is... come what may, and take me to where i should be. coz i won't be staying here very long if i would not know what should be...