DID I HEAR A GOODBYE?

work really has been very demanding this past week. striving hard for a succesful event is time consuming and stressing. i even got sick in the near end, sadly. yet being driven by passion and for the love of simply in motion kept me standing for the activities that lie ahead.

but enough with that. managing at the proper caused stutters and a mode of panic. funny thing is, i enjoyed it as much as i have done in the preparations. so there was nothing of a bit painstakingly suicidal.

oh yes, i was expecting the nonses to remain nonsense, the shit to stay simply shit. but hell did i realize that the person of such disgrace would still come and bring along the burning purgatory.

good thing, i didn't mind. but i ignored the presence, anyway there are other matters that needed more attention at those moments.

yet at the end of a successful project, after bringing down the now-junk logistics and piling them for the bin, some organizers other than me started to leave.

then i heard a goodbye.

i heard a simple, casual goodbye.

all the time i am with this person, along with other colleagues, we're the only ones who never bade farewell to each other. as if the other never exists at all.

(sighs with a sad smile...)

i do not know what i really am wishing for. i couldn't decide if i wished i totally heard the word. anyway i wasn't even looking when i heard it.

if that was real, maybe i could finally manage a smile to this person; work with informally and not too serious anymore. escape from a cold civil war i've been traped into for a very long time.

yes, finally...!

but if it's not, then everything's not over yet.