my writing is lost
and seems hard to find it
i tried my mind for any word
but my imagination just went extinct
the entity of being is gone
passion now could have been numb
insensitive my heart does not thump
my soul was eerie dead and out of love
where is my strength my life
i dare wait but ended still waiting
the wind attempted blowing me away to fade
i did not hold back and let inside the caress
touch my soul and find my light
the sanity of truth hides my path
i am blinded and threatened to flee
but this fight i only had has to last
trapped in a thoughtless mind
this world only sees a dark vast
the iris felt this silent dead white
and a voiceless cry was distant and dry
it is a sword of rust forced to drive
the smith fails to persuade the stillness
glistening cut cannot break this world apart
and each strand would stand as doom touches down
within is the only choice of hope
the surreal thinking is but a mere fog
an illusion is the puzzle be sifted through
and the real war would surface after the wake up
01 March 2007
12 February 2007
LAB TRAYANGGOL
mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal niya'y iba.
mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal ka rin niya.
mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal niya'y ako.
hindi ba't parang nakakasawa na? lagi tayong nalalagay sa alinman sa tatlong sitwasyon na iyan. na para bang ang buong buhay natin ay isang maganda at makulay na teleserye. na araw-araw live telecast lagi at walang retakes.
at dahil para na ngang soap opera na ang dating nito, lahat tayo nangangarap na lamang sa: MAHAL KITA, MAHAL MO'Y AKO.
ganun kasimple.
pero ang nakapagtataka lang diyan, ang pagkakataong yan ay sa mga katangi-tanging kaibigan o sa mga kakilala natin naipagkakaloob. alam kong nakakainggit ang mga taong inilaan talaga ng tadhana para sa isa't isa. na para bang napakaswerte nila dahil hindi na sila nahirapan hanapin ang kanilang "significant other."
sa mga naiinggit naman, kadalasa'y hindi na mapakali. sumasama lang ang loob. naiinis sa sarili dahil bakit parang ang daming problema sa mundo, ang daming tanong na walang mahanap na kasagutan, at ang daming kaibigan na halos nahuhulog na ang loob...
para bang wala nang katarungan sa mundo. ang mga mapalad ay yung mga taong hindi na dumadaan sa teleserye. una pa lang nilang makilala ang isa't isa, it must already be love! at sa iba naman, parang auditions sa pag-ibig na madalas ay rejected o denied ang kinalabasan.
yun nga lang, mas makulay ang buhay ng mga ito. nagiging mahirap lang tignan ito in a very optimistic manner. walang excitement ang buhay kung hindi mapagdadaanan lahat ng klaseng emosyon. at walang thrill kung walang love triangle.
sana nga lang ikaw yung pinag-aagawan... hindi yung binabalewala.
mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal ka rin niya.
mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal niya'y ako.
hindi ba't parang nakakasawa na? lagi tayong nalalagay sa alinman sa tatlong sitwasyon na iyan. na para bang ang buong buhay natin ay isang maganda at makulay na teleserye. na araw-araw live telecast lagi at walang retakes.
at dahil para na ngang soap opera na ang dating nito, lahat tayo nangangarap na lamang sa: MAHAL KITA, MAHAL MO'Y AKO.
ganun kasimple.
pero ang nakapagtataka lang diyan, ang pagkakataong yan ay sa mga katangi-tanging kaibigan o sa mga kakilala natin naipagkakaloob. alam kong nakakainggit ang mga taong inilaan talaga ng tadhana para sa isa't isa. na para bang napakaswerte nila dahil hindi na sila nahirapan hanapin ang kanilang "significant other."
sa mga naiinggit naman, kadalasa'y hindi na mapakali. sumasama lang ang loob. naiinis sa sarili dahil bakit parang ang daming problema sa mundo, ang daming tanong na walang mahanap na kasagutan, at ang daming kaibigan na halos nahuhulog na ang loob...
para bang wala nang katarungan sa mundo. ang mga mapalad ay yung mga taong hindi na dumadaan sa teleserye. una pa lang nilang makilala ang isa't isa, it must already be love! at sa iba naman, parang auditions sa pag-ibig na madalas ay rejected o denied ang kinalabasan.
yun nga lang, mas makulay ang buhay ng mga ito. nagiging mahirap lang tignan ito in a very optimistic manner. walang excitement ang buhay kung hindi mapagdadaanan lahat ng klaseng emosyon. at walang thrill kung walang love triangle.
sana nga lang ikaw yung pinag-aagawan... hindi yung binabalewala.
10 December 2006
SCOURGE OF CHARACTER
at one talk that i attended, we were reminded of Johari's window. it pertains to a reality of how much one knows himself, how others know him, and how much no one knows anything at all. we are encouraged to change everything so that doubting oneself (or being doubted) would be no problem at all.
but it ain't that easy. as far as i know (though i can't say i tried).
how would you discover the remainder of your character if everyone would not just cooperate? how would you solve the dilemma of a man when other people do not even bother confront him with his own evil? how would you know you're stupid when you're too dumb to figure it out?
agh, everything is just plain wrong. no one just couldn't understand the reality of a life that has to be left drifting with the unpredictable currents of the ocean.
in short, it's the challenge in seeking beyond the truth in finding who one really is.
there are the backfighters. they had all the glory telling other people your mistakes and how they dislike you, but they never had the guts to shove it all to you face-to-face.
they are crabs. arrogant to their own way of thinking. these wimps might not even have the slightest ideas that other third-persons are also traitors.
far more trying-hard quixotic are the all-knowing wizard impostors. the answers to everything are the wits of the mind, and it's not difficult for them to manipulate others' weaknesses into meer dots. they're the meanest crabs that only look down upon those they step upon. sadly, his mind does not stop from racing into lunacy.
and then comes the advantageous user. it's in your absence of consciousness that kept you attached to other people to 'help' you along the way. you tend to depend on them even at the most minimal effect of change. you thoroughly believe that you do not mean harm, until one of your company notices that things are going out of hand.
you make it a point that everyone would take a liking for you, their affection is yours. and it's in your conviction that you get to know yourself more through others.
dead wrong, sir. again, you depended on them. it's such a pity that you could not convince yourself into a journey of your own and try to understand the minor role that others could play. they are not the storytellers, neither do they rephrase everything for you.
only a dying knight would let others do the uncovering of his own armor. such a weakling would be an idiot if he did not even attempt to fight the fear of his own blood.
there would be no end to this agony of man. it is the punishment of the misunderstood. even the sending down the prophets would be of no use, for they would not be listened to.
is there a way? the nirvana of the self is nowhere. meditation would not be enough to understand a design so grand that you have to see the others' own need to be helped.
no man is an island. if he does not find the trust he's looking for among his companions, then he won't be able to trust himself. the clouds of doubt and fear will overshadow the voyage of truth. and a sad fate of his own blindless could led him to his unsatisfying death.
how long should one wait? it's not in the choosing of friends, it's believing in yourself that you've got the right people to carry you through. and at the same time, make them believe that you'll do the same for them. no backfighter, no abusive user. everyone's a shipmate.
...but sometimes, it's too late to realize this.
but it ain't that easy. as far as i know (though i can't say i tried).
how would you discover the remainder of your character if everyone would not just cooperate? how would you solve the dilemma of a man when other people do not even bother confront him with his own evil? how would you know you're stupid when you're too dumb to figure it out?
agh, everything is just plain wrong. no one just couldn't understand the reality of a life that has to be left drifting with the unpredictable currents of the ocean.
in short, it's the challenge in seeking beyond the truth in finding who one really is.
there are the backfighters. they had all the glory telling other people your mistakes and how they dislike you, but they never had the guts to shove it all to you face-to-face.
they are crabs. arrogant to their own way of thinking. these wimps might not even have the slightest ideas that other third-persons are also traitors.
far more trying-hard quixotic are the all-knowing wizard impostors. the answers to everything are the wits of the mind, and it's not difficult for them to manipulate others' weaknesses into meer dots. they're the meanest crabs that only look down upon those they step upon. sadly, his mind does not stop from racing into lunacy.
and then comes the advantageous user. it's in your absence of consciousness that kept you attached to other people to 'help' you along the way. you tend to depend on them even at the most minimal effect of change. you thoroughly believe that you do not mean harm, until one of your company notices that things are going out of hand.
you make it a point that everyone would take a liking for you, their affection is yours. and it's in your conviction that you get to know yourself more through others.
dead wrong, sir. again, you depended on them. it's such a pity that you could not convince yourself into a journey of your own and try to understand the minor role that others could play. they are not the storytellers, neither do they rephrase everything for you.
only a dying knight would let others do the uncovering of his own armor. such a weakling would be an idiot if he did not even attempt to fight the fear of his own blood.
there would be no end to this agony of man. it is the punishment of the misunderstood. even the sending down the prophets would be of no use, for they would not be listened to.
is there a way? the nirvana of the self is nowhere. meditation would not be enough to understand a design so grand that you have to see the others' own need to be helped.
no man is an island. if he does not find the trust he's looking for among his companions, then he won't be able to trust himself. the clouds of doubt and fear will overshadow the voyage of truth. and a sad fate of his own blindless could led him to his unsatisfying death.
how long should one wait? it's not in the choosing of friends, it's believing in yourself that you've got the right people to carry you through. and at the same time, make them believe that you'll do the same for them. no backfighter, no abusive user. everyone's a shipmate.
...but sometimes, it's too late to realize this.
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